Between my day job and commitments at home, I don't have much time to hang out with friends. I barely have time to write songs let alone this blog. But, this is the time of year to hang with family and get some unfinished stuff done.
Just for fun, I sometimes make "here's how I do it videos." Like this one. Again, not finished product, but an idea. Ideas take a lot of time to flesh out.
So, when I say I'm making a new album, and it's taking me years to get it finished, that's half the reason why. Just don't have time. And I thank you for being patient. I promise you won't be disappointed. Getting music recorded and produced correctly takes a lot of time and a great deal of technical expertise. But mostly, just time.
The other reason everything takes so long is making what I write personal. How can I expect anyone to care about my music if it doesn't mean something?
When I was a kid, I had trouble really connecting with other people. I found music helped me relate to other people. Probably started with The Beatles. Didn't end there. I used to write "ad libs" to everything that was on the radio.
Today, I write music to find a way to connect with people, too. While it may be a journey of self expression, I also want it to help express things perhaps words alone don't really capture. Like how comic books capture action, intensity and drama where the printed word just doesn't.
So, this time around, it'll be a little deeper dive into how I see things, and how I feel things.
For example, in the link below, "Ball Of Twine" isn't about me. It's about becoming something. You know, killing off who you are to get to who you were born to be. I would never claim to be a transgendered person. But I imagine how it must feel to be stuck in the wrong skin. I can imagine how it would feel to so strange walking around looking at yourself in a mirror and feeling things don't match.
And for just a moment, I want to try to put it on and wear it. See how it feels. For this song, I was inspired by Elliot Page, who plays "Viktor Hargreeves" in the TV show The Umbrella Academy. The episode was called "World's Biggest Ball of Twine". Viktor goes on to take on a male personality after being born female. Quite a solid dialog.
So I started there, wrote a few lines based off the show and went from there. The level of artistry I achieved actually surprised me. Well, at least for this sketch. I'm sure I'll need to make some adjustments.
But as promised to you, here is a lyrical copyfor you to take a look at. I should be putting this on my next CD, but in the meantime, I want you to put it on for a while and also walk around in my skin. I hope you feel something you haven't before.
It's my gift to you. Merry Christmas.
A Ball Of Twine - By Russ Maines
I always hated looking in the mirror
Thought everyone felt so strange in their skin
In between brave and getting weirder
Can't live in that box, that box I'm in
Hard to hear, but I want a say
Wanna new reflection
It sounds queer and that's OK
Just making a correction
Pulling the thread, walking away
Unwinding a Ball of Twine
It's all in your head, I'm better this way
I used to be me
Now I'm mine
I always felt like a wolf in sheep's clothes
But I can't go back the way I came
Take it from someone else who knows
I'm A Ghost In A Shell, A Crying Game
Hard to hear, but I want a say
Wanna new reflection
It sounds queer and that's OK
Just making a correction
Pulling the thread, walking away
Unwinding a Ball of Twine
It's all in your head, its better this way
I used to be me
Now I'm mine
A Ball of Twine
Hands are untied
Walking On The Wild Side
Uh huh...
come on
take the blade
make the change
Hard to hear, but I want a say
Wanna new reflection
It sounds queer and that's OK
Just making a correction
Pulling the thread, walking away
Unwinding a Ball of Twine
It's all in your head, I'm better this way
I used to be me
Now I'm mine
A Ball of Twine
Love & Rockets, (and have a great Christmas!)
Russ