Don't Fit In?
When You Follow The Crowd, All You See Are Assholes!
I'm going to share a secret with you: I never fit in. I always feel like I have to be "on" when I'm in a crowd. I always feel awkward at corporate parties, or when people ask me, "How's the band doing?" I think that's because when I was young, I faced a lot of rejection. I really didn't want to be at school, preferring to spend time in my imagination than the "reality" everyone around me seemed to embrace. For example, who in their right mind would want to sit in a classroom, when it was bright and sunny outside?
When I was a teen, I felt more at home with the rejects than with the smart kids who were headed to college, the jocks, or any other group of kids. But even the rejects felt like a group. Everyone smoked, drank, and wore concert t-shirts. Me? I was just looking for a bit of comfort from anyone, or anything. And this was the beginning of an extraordinary experience. I became attached to secluded spaces in nature.
Nature allows extraordinary experiences to occur, which run parallel to ordinary experiences. And because we're busy living our own lives, we seldom stop to consider anything different. But if we stop for a second and look around, we begin to notice things that don't fit right.
On a farm, for example, a lamb whose mom died lives in great anxiety looking for food and comfort. It can be painful watching it work out by itself. How to get food. How to find comfort. All that. But really, no matter the odds, it's ALWAYS better to let nature work things out for itself before we get involved.
And once you begin seeing how a lamb comes up separate from the rest of the flock, you see something very special in it.
The orphan lamb will always be an orphan. But it begins to notice other animals on the farm. While the rest of the flock moves on with the herd, our lamb makes friends with many others the flock doesn't even notice.
You see, nature allows for special experiences for one reason: to reach new awareness.
Once separated, we evolve a new sense. We simply reach beyond wanting to belong. Rejection becomes elevated awareness. And in turn, it connects us to everything else. We no longer wait to be seen. We don't give up.
The lesson you can learn from this is simple: once you stop chasing the flock, which will never see you, a new instinct emerges. An instinct to be connected.
So, Nourish yourself. Let the world be drawn to you. And don't give up. After all, if you follow the flock, all you see from that point of view are assholes.
"Why Would I Want To Be Like You?"
When I was in college, one of my professors and I had an argument He asked me when I was going to learn to play the game and just tell him what he wanted to hear when it came to homework. I told him I wasn't at college to play games, I was there to learn. And if he couldn't teach me, perhaps he either didn't know how to teach, or he didn't really know what he was talking about.
So, you can tell I was popular in college, too, right?
I don't remember what he said after that. Truly, it doesn't matter. What does matter is I needed a better teacher. You see in college, you get taught a lesson and then get tested. In real life, you get tested and then you learn your lesson. Life is a better teacher.
I separated myself from class. I ended up building the college's laboratory for Unit Operations at a little place called "Energetic Materials Research and Test Center" in Socorro with some help from a few other students. I'll tell you, I learned so much more than a book could have ever taught me by using my blue collar skills than learning the white collar skills.
Why on earth would I want to be like this professor? I'm not belittling a Ph.D. Chemical Engineer. I'm just saying there's nothing about that person I want to be like. I still wouldn't trade places for all the money in the world.
Today, because if experiments I've done in real life, I invented things nobody else could ever invent. In oth