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Why Funnels Suck

Last month I joined "Produce Like A Boss", an education small business, which teaches music production. I got the email address and contact information from Ray Hamilton, a MIP from Nashville. Ray's label is called "Merf Music". He's a song pitcher and likes some of my tunes. Anyhow, I joined this class because I use Logic Pro software for Mac and nobody teaches Logic Pro.

Within about an hour, I got 13 emails thanking me, telling me there's more to buy to learn secrets, and in mid December, I had enough of the spam.

So I wrote an email begging them to stop. I wrote this email after absorbing all of the coursework I paid for, which took me about 3 hours to go through and cost me $600 bucks. I don't mind spending money on education. But the emails? Sheesh! Let me be already!

Oddly, they kicked me out of class and gave me my money back. I mean all of it. So if you use Logic Pro and send a nasty gram to Produce Like A Boss you can get free classes on how to best use it. That's good for you and bad for them.

But to the point, I hate "funnels". If you don't know what funnels are here's the dope. It's a sales method pure and simple. The idea is you make some videos, put them on a site like You Tube, and make them interesting enough to get people to click on them. Once you click on the video, you get to a one page website where you put in your email address and you get a free prize. Once you get your free prize, you then get "educated" by a bunch of emails that are designed to build interest. Once you get enough interest, you're supposed to begin desiring the product. At the end of all of this education you're supposed to take action and buy the offer if you find it valuable. Awareness, Interest, Desire, Action.

The entire time, the business creates a culture so you'll buy more stuff. Culture building comes to you via the email address you gave them. The business constantly emails you to find out how you're doing, take a survey and interact with them. They'll even ask you for references after they try to up sell you for a few extra bucks on some special deal while they have you there. And beware, the special deal will disappear or be three times more expensive (fear of loss) if you don't act in 10 minutes. The entire thing is about sales. Sales, sales, sales. And the method is based on psychology. ]

Now, listen. You know I got your email address in exchange for free music. Right? Do you feel like I abuse you? Do I ask you to click the button 30 times in an email?

That's why I hate this funnel business thing. It's so fake. You know what I mean, right? Let's say you want to unsubscribe or have some complaint. So, you drop an email. Do you think you'll get the person who's face represents the business? No! You don't know who's on the other end of the screen. Could be some guy who's cheap labor, right?

Well, here your business is personal to me. I read every comment and email you send. And I'm the only guy on the other end of the screen. Sure, I'd love to get some of your money. But you know what? I'm perfectly happy making music and giving it away. The music business is tough. That's why I went to school for engineering and played gigs with my friends on Friday nights in Socorro. OK. sure. I made some scratch playing gigs to supplement my hamburger money. But if you calculate out how much money you make doing that work, it's still only lunch money.

Example? Sure. You have a band with 4 players. The club agrees to pay you $400 bucks for a night. So you make $100 bucks. Then you play for 4 hours, and set up takes an hour and take down takes another hour. So $100/6 hours = $16.67/hour. You leave a $10 tip for the bartender for helping you out. So that's $15/hour. Then, there's gas money and all that time you spent practicing. Still just lunch money.

But back to funnels. I'm not going to funnel you, or bombard you with offers. Just good old fashioned rock music with a Gulf Coast twist. Straight ahead and no funny business.

I just profoundly thank you for hanging in there with me. It means a lot to me that you read my blog. I greatly value your comments. It's going to be a long journey to the next release. It turns out my producer, Mike Rozon, is going on tour with Jerry Cantrell (Alice In Chains) so I'll have to wait until he gets back to continue building the next EP. Not sure what to call it yet. Thinking "Off The Hook" or "Jaws", or some kind of salt water saying. Lots to pick from. I do have some riffs I'm working on which might give the next batch a little more of a blues feel. We'll see.

Love & Rockets,


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